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Coming Out...
When I was 19, a friend from high school came out as a lesbian. That night, she gave me a long stemmed red rose. Now, five years and lots of experiments later, I am out to my friends but not my family. I figure that is only a matter of time. Once my parents know, there will be a lot of problems to face. I know my brother knows. I think my sister suspects. Both of my daughters’ fathers, Danny and Chris, know and accept. My youngest daughter’s father, Chris, was there for my first time with a woman. It was a wonderful experience for me. For them, I don’t know. Now, nine months after Chris broke up with me, I am finding out what it is like to be a single bisexual woman. I celebrate inside for all the rights that have been finally given to gay, lesbians, and bisexuals; while listening to my father state that it is wrong and what is the world coming to... He just doesn’t know what is sitting on his couch. His oldest daughter, his bisexual daughter. I think but I’m not sure - my sister is showing the signs of being just like her big sister. She’s just to close to her bestfriend, not to have experimented. But no one ever talks in my family. I have better relationships with my daughters’ fathers, than with my parents and siblings. I get along with Chris’ wife better than I get along with my family. I am looking for friends who are bi. I need a community of people to share my sorrows, fears, and joys who will understand the unique experiences of being bisexual. Especially, this whole coming out thing. I don’t know how to tell my parents. I have a very real fear of what would happen if I tell my parents that I am bisexual. They have custody of my oldest daughter, Jessica. I’m afraid if I tell my parents that I am bisexual, that they will refuse to let me see my daughter. I can’t afford to fight them in court. But as more and more people know I’m bisexual, and as I become more involved with the bisexual groups in Richmond, I know that somehow, someway, my parents will find out. It’s funny really. I don’t even know which coming out they will have a bigger problem with - the sexual or the spiritual. I am also Wiccan, which is very no-no to their Jerry Falwell way of thinking. This probably seems all very confusing, which makes sense - I am totally confused. There are a few things I know and will not deny to myself. 1) I am bisexual, not gay, not straight, BI! 2) I am Wiccan. The joy I feel communing with the Goddess and the God fill me with spiritual enlightenment. And 3) If I deny to myself who and what I am - I am going to be more miserable than I could ever imagine being now!
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Contributor's Note
Kat Sanders is Owner/Designer for Creative Pride. Creative Pride started in January of 2008 as an online chainmail and beaded jewelry store at http://store.nd2cre8.com/. As that business was getting off the ground, Kat found that as a way to sell my chainmail creation is was wonderful, as a way to make money, not so much. So, Kat started looking for other sources of revenue and Creative Pride went from an online store to a marketing business, which includes writing articles. Please visit my company website: http://creativepride.ws and see how my business is growing!
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